Joy isn’t something we have to manufacture — it’s something we can learn to recognize and receive.
In this talk, Ginger Clarkson guides the group through mudita, or sympathetic joy, drawing on teachings from Sylvia Boorstein, the late Cambodian Buddhist patriarch Maha Gosananda, and a newly trained Spirit Rock teacher named devon hase.
Ginger explores why sympathetic joy may be the hardest of the four heart practices — envy and the fear that there isn’t enough happiness to go around are its natural obstacles — and why the antidote is simply remembering that joy and sorrow visit everyone, and that it’s sometimes just someone else’s turn. The talk includes a guided mudita practice directing phrases of appreciative joy toward a loved one and a benefactor, with Sylvia Boorstein’s gentle reminder woven throughout: the whole of the Dharma can be summed up as paying attention and being kind.
As we prepare to practice Mudita, one of four Buddhist heart practices, I recall a dharma teacher named Booker speaking about the origin of the term Brahma Viharas: Brahma refers to a Hindu god who is free from hatred, and Vihara means “abode” or a place to live. Therefore, the best spiritual home for us to inhabit is in the realm of the Braham Viharas.
Booker likened each of those Divine Abodes to phases of the sun or moon: Metta or loving kindness is like the sun at high noon that shines nurturing warmth on all sentient beings. Mudita or sympathetic joy is like a sunrise bringing new light to the day. Karuna or compassion is like a sunset gently holding in its spacious beauty the truth of suffering. Upekkha or equanimity is like moonlight that beams indiscriminately on what is true.
Equanimity calms over-exuberance, which is a “near enemy” of Sympathetic Joy. Mudita’s “far enemy” is envy, when we covet or resent the joy and pleasure that another person is experiencing, and when we act from fear of scarcity, as if there were not enough benefits to go around. Envy occurs when we forget that everyone experiences joys and sorrows, and that all things are impermanent. We can remember that it’s someone else’s turn to win or to have good fortune.
A newly trained teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, devon hase, notes that practicing sympathetic joy helps us to stay open to both the joys and sorrows of being alive. Rather than grasping at happiness, we can learn to recognize and receive goodness whenever it appears—in friendship, beauty, and simple moments of connection. If you can receive the goodness in your own life, you are more able to celebrate the goodness in others’ lives.
Sylvia Boorstein says that the whole of the Dharma can be summarized as “Pay attention and be kind.” She reminds us, “Life is so difficult. How can we be anything but kind? We [must] constantly adjust to gains and losses, and it’s hard not to take them personally. The waves never stop coming, but we can choose to surf!”
According to Sylvia, joy helps us on our path towards freedom. Twenty years ago, Sylvia met the (now-deceased) wise Buddhist Patriarch of Cambodia, Maha Gosananda at a Spirit Rock conference on Buddhism in the West. Although he spoke seven or eight languages, he repeated one simple phrase to all the conference participants with whom he came in contact: “May all beings be peaceful and happy and come to the end of suffering.” His radiant presence transmitted joy to everyone he met.
Everyone aspires to be more comfortable. Whole-hearted wishing well for others feels good, especially when we are free of envy, jealousy or clinging to any personal need. Shared joy adds buoyancy to the mind. As Mother Theresa taught, “There are three important things in life: kindness, kindness and kindness.”
Each morning Sylvia sends Mudita phrases to all people who are celebrating a birthday—only if they are happy about aging! She tries to imagine celebratory situations that would merit sympathetic joy. One example is all babies taking their very first step.
*Try inviting into your mind situations that you could easily celebrate. See if you can find joy in your heart as you resonate empathically.
Unless you tend to be self-critical and harshly judgmental of yourself, usually Mudita phrases are not directed towards oneself because gratitude phrases are substituted. By listing aspects of your life for which you feel grateful, you tend to feel more joyous. *TRY IT NOW!
On a month-long silent Vipassana retreat at Spirit Rock, Sylvia guided the sangha through her version of Mudita practice. With a bow of thanks to her, I will lead us in cultivating an ability to rejoice in the good fortune and success of other people.
Traditionally, we begin by directing Mudita phrases towards a loved one who is experiencing good news or blessings. It’s easiest to start with a happy, affectionate friend, reviewing their blessings. You may visualize or have a felt sense of that person.
Notice if negative thoughts surface during this practice and simply let them go, returning to the phrases. We will pause after each phrase so that the words resonate throughout the body:
I’m happy that you are happy.
May your happiness and good fortune continue.
May your happiness and good fortune increase.
Let your contentment shine far and wide.
Exhale and release the image or felt sense of your loved one. Breathe into the area of your heart.
Now visualize or have a felt sense of a Benefactor—someone who has helped and guided you with wisdom and kindness. We will direct Mudita phrases towards that Benefactor:
I’m happy that you merit happiness.
May your happiness and good fortune continue.
May your happiness and good fortune increase.
Let your contentment shine far and wide.
Exhaling, release the image or felt sense of the Benefactor.
In conclusion, visualize or have a felt sense of anyone you know who is enjoying a celebratory moment. Direct Mudita phrases towards that person:
I’m happy that you are happy.
May your happiness and good fortune continue.
May your happiness and good fortune increase.
Let your contentment shine far and wide.
Exhale and connect with the area of your heart, noticing any difference in its sensations. Reciting Mudita phrases is part of a purification process that expands the loving capacity of one’s own heart.
