BV-Mudita during Hard Times
Tonight, we will discuss and practice the brahma vihara of mudita, the Pali word for sympathetic joy or appreciative delight. In an essay titled “The Joy of Joy,” Daisy Hernández (Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, spring, 2021) argues that during hard times, as much as we rely on the other divine abodes—lovingkindness, compassion, and equanimity—we need to include sympathetic joy.
In this epoch, when millions of people have died from Covid-19 and when racial injustice and environmental destruction are increasingly apparent, people may feel guilty for enjoying their lives amidst so much pain. Sometimes we have the misconception that it’s not all right to cultivate joy when others are facing enormous sorrow.
But consider whether you help the suffering world by suffering along with it, or whether you contribute more with a joyful presence. Even the most depressed person longs to feel joy. The Buddha taught that joy is one of the five Jhana factors in states of deep concentration and one of the seven Factors of Awakening. It’s an essential part of our dharma path.
Buddhist teacher Jill Shepherd insists that mudita is necessary right now. She regrets that most of us are strangers to delight and tend to be tough on ourselves. In her words, “It’s precisely because there’s so much suffering in the world that I’ve needed to make the effort to turn toward non-suffering, toward gladness or joy, in order to restore myself so that I can face life’s challenges.” Even in the darkest hours, joy is a habit that we can cultivate.
Daisy Hernández refers to The Book of Delights by the poet Ross Gay, who has a daily discipline of noticing and writing about something simple that delights him. One day he celebrated observing a praying mantis on a bottle of beer left at a café table. Recognizing that there are more complicated forms of delight, he wrote, What if we joined our sorrows, I’m saying? I’m saying: What if that is joy?
Daisy discovered that the word “delight” comes from the Latin delectare, derived from delicere, “to lure or entice away.” She proposes that mudita is a practice of being enticed away from the ego to care about other people’s happiness.
Whole-hearted wishing well for others feels good, especially when we are free of clinging to any personal need. Shared joy adds buoyancy to the mind. For Joseph Goldstein, sympathetic joy gives him a feeling that his heart is smiling. He reminds us that the practice of wishing others well is a purification process during which old habit patterns of envy and jealousy may surface.
Mudita’s “far enemy” is envy, when we covet or resent the joy and pleasure that another person is experiencing, and when we act from fear of scarcity, as if there were not enough benefits to go around. Envy occurs when we forget that everyone experiences joys and sorrows, and that all things are impermanent. Sometimes we judge others as less deserving of good fortune than we would be.
Yet, as Mark Coleman says, we rob ourselves of well-being when we cannot celebrate others’ achievements. If we think, “That person is more successful and fulfilled than I am,” feelings of separation and resentment arise. Sympathetic joy liberates the heart from the burden of comparing mind.
Coleman has a guided meditation that I’ve adapted for tonight. As we practice with mudita phrases, let’s remember Joseph Goldstein’s advice to cultivate patience until we can sense the feeling or place in ourselves out of which those good wishes come.
Now settle into a comfortable posture and close your eyes.
Breathe gently into the area of the heart.
Traditionally, mudita phrases are not directed towards oneself because gratitude phrases are substituted. By noting aspects of your life for which you feel grateful, you tend to have more of a sense of abundance, which nourishes the practice of sympathetic joy. Take a moment to count your blessings….
Reflect upon your longing for happiness and freedom from suffering. Breathe into the heart’s center, acknowledging and appreciating moments of joy or contentment that you have experienced in your life. Begin to offer yourself phrases to develop gratitude:
May I learn to appreciate any joy and contentment that I experience.
May my appreciation continue and grow.
May I be filled with gratitude.
After a few minutes of gratitude practice, bring your attention back to the body and breath, consciously relaxing your posture. Breathe gently into the area of the heart.
Then call to mind a friend who seems naturally joyous or is currently happy and doing well personally, professionally, or both. Take some time to appreciate this person’s joy, success and good fortune. Visualize or sense the happiness or contentment that your friend is experiencing.
As you hold this person in your heart or in your mind’s eye, silently and slowly repeat the following mudita phrases:
I’m happy for you.
I delight in your wellbeing.
May your happiness continue.
May your wellbeing and good fortune increase.
During this process of purification, it is natural for opposite feelings to arise. The practice can trigger a contracted state of feeling self-judgment for not having similar success or happiness. If this happens, notice whatever negative reactions block your ability to rejoice in the contentment of others. With a kind attitude towards yourself, be patient as your heart learns to open and love more fully:
I’m happy for you.
I delight in your wellbeing.
May your happiness continue.
May your success and good fortune increase.
With a deep exhalation, let go of the image or felt sense of your friend….
Breathe into the area of your heart and call to mind a neutral person—perhaps someone in the news who is celebrating good fortune…. Visualizing or sensing the presence of this neutral person, practice silently with the mudita phrases:
I’m happy for you.
I delight in your wellbeing.
May your happiness continue.
May your wellbeing and good fortune increase.
With a deep exhalation, let go of the image or felt sense of the neutral person….
Breathe into the area of your heart and call to mind a difficult person who is experiencing a period of good fortune. You may choose someone with whom you have unresolved issues or even conflicts. In this challenging stage of cultivating sympathetic joy, our goal is to let go of judgments about who deserves success and happiness…. Recall that all beings wish to be appreciated and to experience joy—even those who are annoying, unskillful, confused, and unkind. With a clear intention to free yourself from jealousy, fear, and ill will, choose as the recipient for Mudita phrases someone who is a source of difficulty for you. As you send this person appreciative phrases, pay close attention to your emotional responses:
Visualizing or sensing the presence of someone difficult, practice with the mudita phrases:
I’m happy for you.
I delight in your wellbeing.
May your happiness continue.
May your wellbeing and good fortune increase.
With a deep exhalation, let go of the image or felt sense of the difficult person. Breathe into the area of your heart.
Recall some of the blessings in your life that replenish you and foster your ability to appreciate the blessings of others.
And now expand the field of appreciation to include all those who are in our sangha.
May you experience joy.
May your happiness continue.
May your wellbeing and good fortune increase.
Gradually expand the field of Mudita to include everyone near and far, in all directions. Imagine covering the whole world with these positive wishes and repeat the phrases of appreciative joy:
May you experience joy.
May your happiness continue.
May your wellbeing and good fortune increase.
After a few moments of sending Mudita to all beings everywhere, let go of the phrases and the imagery. As you return to sensing your body and breath, be aware of whatever sensations and emotions are now present. When you are ready, slowly open your eyes and sense your connection to our sangha.