BV-Mudita and Resilience

Tonight, we will be practicing the brahma vihara of Mudita or sympathetic joy. This is not a starry-eyed practice that denies the reality of suffering in the world. In fact, the qualities of empathy and happiness associated with Mudita give us resilience to weather stormy periods with a measure of equanimity. Resilience entails a renewal of strength, spirit, and good humor.

Sympathetic joy allows us to transcend the conditioning of comparing mind. In our relationships, we can let go of both the undermining belief that we are inadequate or inferior and the arrogant belief that we are superior. When we shed this element of “self-conceit,” our heart expands to enjoy being present with those we meet.

Mudita’s “far enemy” is envy, when we covet or resent the joy and pleasure that another person is experiencing, and when we act from fear of scarcity, as if there were not enough benefits to go around. Envy occurs when we forget that everyone experiences joys and sorrows, and that all things are impermanent. We can remember that it’s someone else’s turn to celebrate a moment of joy.

As meditation teacher Marcia Rose says, “Joy is wired into our genes, brain circuits and biology. It’s an integral part of our health equation. And in times like these, it matters more than ever.” She describes a policy instituted at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC to promote resilience during the pandemic. Each time a coronavirus patient recovered enough to breathe without the help of a ventilator, a recording of the Beatles song Here Comes the Sun played throughout the hospital’s corridors. One doctor reported, “For those on the front lines of critical care, it’s like a war zone. The work is relentless. To hear this song on the loudspeaker is… just what people need, a reminder that patients are recovering. You feel good for a moment.”

Buddhist teacher Jill Shepherd insists that mudita is necessary right now. She regrets that most of us are strangers to delight and tend to be tough on ourselves. In her words, “It’s precisely because there’s so much suffering in the world that I’ve needed to make the effort to turn toward non-suffering, toward gladness or joy, in order to restore myself so that I can face life’s challenges.” Even in the darkest hours, joy is a habit that we can cultivate.

Marcia Rose recommends preparing for Mudita practice by reflecting upon our past acts of goodness and generosity, remembering our wise choices and the ways that we have helped others. By acknowledging our innately good nature, we cultivate self-respect and love. From that place of plenitude, we nourish our capacity to appreciate all the sentient beings who share life on this planet and to delight in others’ happiness, good health and success.

Mark Coleman likens the heart filled with Mudita to kindling that is ready for sparks of happiness wherever gladness and success arise. He calls it a win/win practice and points to the paradox that delighting in the joy of others increases one’s own well-being.

To cultivate a greater capacity for sympathetic joy, let’s practice a guided Mudita meditation adapted from Coleman’s book, From Suffering to Peace.

Start by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, and sensing your breath moving in and out of the area of the heart.

Traditionally, Mudita phrases are not directed towards oneself because gratitude phrases are substituted. By noting aspects of your life for which you feel grateful, you tend to have more of a sense of abundance, which nourishes the practice of sympathetic joy. Take a moment to count your blessings….

Now call to mind a friend who is currently happy and doing well personally, professionally, or both. Take some time to appreciate this person’s joy, success and good fortune. Visualize or sense the happiness or contentment that your friend is experiencing….

As you hold this person in your heart or your mind’s eye, silently and slowly repeat the following Mudita phrases of appreciation and encouragement:

I’m happy for you.

I delight in your happiness.