BV-Compassion-Receiving and Giving
Tonight, we will practice the brahma vihara of compassion. Compassion arises when our hearts open to suffering, both our own and that of others. Early in the Buddha’s teaching, he met with the first 60 of his disciples who had become arhants, with minds free of all defilement and suffering. From the start, he urged this group of monks to act compassionately:
Go forth, O Bhikkhus, for the good of the many, for the happiness of the many, out of compassion for the world, for the happiness of people and devas (or celestial beings). Let not two go by the same way. Teach the Dhamma, excellent in the beginning, excellent in the middle, excellent in the end. Proclaim the holy life, altogether perfect and pure. Work for the good of others, you have done your duties.
In his book One Dharma, Joseph Goldstein traces how the compassionate actions of monastics spread to lay practitioners, inspired by the ideals of the bodhisattva path. With bodhicitta or an awakened heart, a practitioner aspires to wake up from ignorance for the benefit of other beings. At Zen retreats, four bodhisattva vows are recited every day:
Sentient beings are numberless. I vow to save them.
Delusions are endless. I vow to end them.
The Dharmas are boundless. I vow to master them.
The Buddha Way is unattainable. I vow to attain it.
Even though these are impossible vows, we can incline our hearts towards realizing them. We may question how our hearts can stay open when we are inundated with distressing news reports about oppression, inequities, wars, diseases, famines, and natural disasters. Sometimes it’s hard enough to be with our own pain let alone with the pain of others. In the face of suffering, our mental habits may make us defensive, indifferent or apathetic. We may judge ourselves for lacking compassion or boast pridefully about our compassionate acts.
Brahma vihara practice counteracts impediments that block the heart. Joseph recommends starting by cultivating compassion for ourselves and for those closest to us. We can begin by noting hardships that are present here and now—our physical or emotional pain or the agitation of someone we love. Little by little, as we practice receiving and giving compassion, we learn to be with things as they are, without drowning in difficulties or identifying with them. Eventually, we realize that what’s happening does not matter as much as how we relate to it.
Recently I saw a documentary film about Audrey Hepburn’s life. As a child, she was traumatized by her parents’ divorce and by the Nazi invasion of her hometown in the Netherlands. After WWII, Audrey studied ballet in London. Too old to realize her dream of being a ballerina, she became a successful actress in Hollywood. At the height of her career, she abandoned acting to raise her children. After both of her marriages ended in divorce, she retreated from public view to care for herself compassionately. Then she became a special ambassador for the United Nations UNICEF fund. For five years, Audrey helped sick and hungry children in Latin America and Africa until she died of cancer in 1993. Finally, it was through compassionate action that she found fulfillment and inner peace.
Even in dire circumstances, we can develop compassion. In 1959, the Dalai Lama’s personal physician, Tendzin Choedrak was imprisoned by Chinese soldiers, who beat and tortured him regularly for 21 years. Because he understood profoundly that hatred ceases only in response to love, he kept his heart open and survived psychologically and spiritually intact. He never lost sight of the fact that his enemies were human beings like himself, subject to the laws of karma. Foreseeing that their cruel actions would lead to their own future suffering, he felt compassion for his torturers. In the face of great suffering and injustice, Dr. Choedrak’s compassion was unwavering.
Inspired by his example, let’s practice both receiving and giving compassion. We’ll use a guided meditation adapted from one by Noah Levine.
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Reflect upon your deepest desire for happiness and freedom from suffering. Be aware of your heart’s longing for truth and well-being. With each breath, sense in the heart center how much you wish to be free from harm and to experience compassion for yourself and for all beings.
Slowly offer yourself compassionate phrases:
May I be held in compassion.
May my pain and sorrow be eased.
May I find peace.
Grounded in self-compassion, we can uncover the heart’s caring responses to others’ suffering. We may not feel compassion right away, and we may face judgments or resistance to the practice. Sometimes the mind gets lost in stories, memories or fantasies. Each time you’re aware that the mind is wandering, simply return to the practice. Be as friendly and tender with yourself as possible. Repeat the following phrases like a mantra or a statement of positive intent:
May I care about all who are suffering.
May I respond to pain with mercy and compassion.
May I be filled with compassion.
Allow the mind to relax into the reverberations of each phrase. PAUSE….
Now bring to mind someone who has inspired you with their compassion towards you or others. Recognize that just as you wish to be cared for and understood, this benefactor wants to be met with compassion. Begin offering the benefactor compassionate phrases:
May you be held in compassion.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May you find peace.
Now send phrases to support your benefactor’s intention to be compassionate with others.
May you care about all who are suffering.
May you respond to pain with mercy and compassion.
May you be filled with compassion.
Release the image or felt sense of the benefactor’s presence, and return to the sensations and emotions of the heart, breathing softly into that area. Now bring to mind a friend who may be going through a challenging time. Sensing your heart’s resonance, offer this dear one phrases of compassion:
May you be held in compassion.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May you find peace.
Now send phrases to support your friend’s wish to be compassionate with others.
May you care about all who are suffering.
May you respond to pain with mercy and compassion.
May you be filled with compassion.
After practicing compassion on behalf of your friend, bring attention to your breath in the area of the heart…. Then bring to mind a neutral person–someone whom you do not know well, perhaps a person who passed by on a walk, who served you at a store, or who is in our virtual sangha tonight.
Understanding that the desire for freedom from suffering is universal, offer the neutral person phrases of compassion:
May you be held in compassion.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May you find peace.
Now send phrases to support this neutral person in developing compassion for others:
May you care about all who are suffering.
May you respond to pain with mercy and compassion.
May you be filled with compassion.
Release the image or felt sense of the neutral person, and return to the heart’s sensations and emotions. Then expand the practice to include a person whom you find difficult in your life—someone you may have put out of your heart. Remember that all beings wish to be met with compassion—even those who act in ways that are annoying, unskillful, confused, and unkind. With an intention to free yourself from ill will, offer compassionate phrases to this person who is difficult for you to love:
May you be held in compassion.
May your pain and sorrow be eased.
May you find peace.
And now send phrases to support this person’s capacity for compassion:
May you care about all who are suffering.
May you respond to pain with mercy and compassion.
May you be filled with compassion.
Imagine expanding the field of compassion to all who are in our sangha, to all who live in Houston, to all those in Texas, in the USA, and in this hemisphere. Let your positive intention to meet everyone with compassion spread out in all directions everywhere. Imagine covering the entire world with these positive thoughts. Open your heart to all beings, including those being born and those who are dying. With boundless and friendly attention, let us close with these compassionate phrases:
May all beings be held in compassion.
May the pain and sorrow of all beings be eased.
May all beings find peace.