BV-Equanimity and Blessings for the New Year

Tonight, we will practice the brahma vihara or Divine Abode of Equanimity. In preparation, let us initiate a new year of practice in our sangha by reviewing the Buddha’s discourse on blessings (Mangala sutta): 

At one time the Blessed One was living in Jeta Grove. A certain deity of astounding beauty approached the Blessed One and said: 

“Many deities and humans longing for happiness have pondered on blessings. Tell me the blessings supreme.

The Buddha replied:

“To associate not with the foolish, to be with the wise, and to honor the worthy ones—this is a blessing supreme. 

“To reside in a suitable location, to have past deeds done, to set oneself in the right direction—this is a blessing supreme. 

“To be well-spoken, highly trained, well-educated, skilled in handicraft and highly disciplined—this is a blessing supreme.

“To be well caring of mother and father; to look after spouse and children, to engage in a harmless occupation—this is a blessing supreme. 

“Outstanding behavior, blameless action, open hands to all and selfless giving—this is a blessing supreme. 

“To cease and abstain from causing suffering, to avoid heedlessness through intoxicants, to be diligent in virtuous practices—this is a blessing supreme. 

“To be reverent, humble, content and grateful, to hear the Dharma at the right time—this is a blessing supreme. 

“To be patient, obedient, to visit with spiritual people, to discuss the Dharma at the right time—this is a blessing supreme. 

“To live simply and purely, to see the Noble Truths, and to realize Nirvana—this is the blessing supreme. 

“A mind unshaken when touched by the worldly states, sorrowless, stainless, and secure—this is the blessing supreme. 

“Those who have fulfilled all these are everywhere invincible, they find well-being everywhere. Theirs is the blessing supreme.” 

Some of these supreme blessings may seem unattainable. Yet they can inspire us to cultivate thoughts, words and deeds that bring peace and happiness to ourselves and others. Equanimity is a quality that underlies many of the blessings in the Buddha’s discourse.

The brahma vihara practice of equanimity or upekkha has to do with clarity and wisdom and with being fearlessly open-minded, without judgments, desire or aversion. Equanimity implies accepting the reality of life’s high and low points and developing an attitude of inner peace amidst inevitable changes. The uncertainties and shifting restrictions that we face during the global pandemic give us fertile ground for developing upekkha. 

Equanimity is considered a wise practice for balancing the mind and liberating ourselves from reactivity and attachments. It takes regular practice to be able to open the heart in a stable, sustained way, while letting go of preferences.  

Sometimes equanimity is confused with indifference, which is considered its “near enemy.” When we are indifferent, the heart is closed and defended in self-protection, but equanimity stems from an open and compassionate heart.

It reflects the attitude of the Serenity Prayer: “May I change what can be changed, accept what cannot, and have the wisdom to know the difference.” 

For our practice tonight, I have adapted a meditation on peace and equanimity from Jack Kornfield’s book A Wise Heart (p. 401).

To cultivate the qualities of peace and equanimity, sit comfortably with your eyes closed.  

Bring a soft attention to your breath until your body and mind are calm.

Reflect for a moment on the benefit of a mind that has balance and equanimity.

Sense what a gift it can be to bring a peaceful heart to the world around you.

Let yourself feel an inner sense of balance and ease. Then with each breath begin gently repeating the following phrases silently to yourself:  

Breathing in, I calm my body.

Breathing out, I calm my mind.

May I be balanced.  

May I be at peace.

Stay with these phrases until you feel quiet in your body and mind.

Then broaden the sense of calm into a spacious equanimity. 
Acknowledge that all created things arise and pass away: 

joys, sorrows, pleasant and painful events, people, animals, plants, buildings, nations, even whole civilizations.  

Let yourself rest in the midst of all that arises and passes away.

Repeat the following phrases silently:

May I learn to accept with equanimity the arising and passing of all things.

May I be open and balanced and peaceful. 

When you have established a sense of serenity, picture or sense the presence of a loved one. Connect with your wish for their inner peace and tranquility. Repeat the phrases for their benefit:                                                            May you learn to accept with equanimity the arising and passing of all things.

May you be open and balanced and peaceful.

With equanimity practice, it is traditional to acknowledge that all beings are heirs to their own karma:

All beings receive the fruits of their actions. Their lives arise and pass away according to the deeds created by them. We may care deeply for our friends and loved ones, but we cannot act for them nor love for them nor let go for them. To free your heart, you may repeat the following phrase:

Your happiness and suffering depend on your actions and not on my wishes for you.

Exhaling deeply, let go of the image of your loved one. Breathe gently into the area of your heart, centering yourself and reconnecting with a sense of peaceful balance. Gradually expand the meditation to include others:

Bring to mind a benefactor or a mentor who has given you caring attention, support, and guidance. Visualize or sense the presence of this person. With wishes for their inner peace and serenity, repeat the phrases for their benefit:

May you learn to accept with equanimity the arising and passing of all things.

May you be open and balanced and peaceful.

With a deep exhalation, let go of the image of your mentor or benefactor. Breathe into the area of your heart, reestablishing your equilibrium and steadiness. Bring to mind a neutral person, someone you do not know well, perhaps someone you have passed on a walk or in a store. With wishes for their inner peace and tranquility, repeat the phrases for the benefit of the neutral person:  

May you learn to accept with equanimity the arising and passing of all things.

May you be open and balanced and peaceful.

Exhaling deeply, let go of the image of the neutral person. Breathe into the area of your heart, and sense the support of the ground beneath you. Now bring to mind a person whom you find difficult to accept. Remembering that everyone wants to be at peace with themselves, repeat the phrases for the benefit of this one who is difficult for you to love:

May you learn to accept with equanimity the arising and passing of all things.

May you be open and balanced and peaceful.

With a deep exhalation, let go of the image of this person who is difficult for you to love. Breathe into the area of your heart, and settle back into a state of tranquility. Expanding the practice, imagine everyone in our sangha, and all who live in Texas, in the United States, in this hemisphere, and in the entire world. Imagine all those who are newly born and those who are about to die, all infants, children, adolescents, adults, and elders—each one with their measure of joy and sorrow. With wishes for everyone’s peace and serenity, repeat the phrases for their benefit:  

May you learn to accept with equanimity the arising and passing of all things.

May you be open and balanced and peaceful.

Exhaling deeply, let go of this expansive image. Breathe gently and sense your capacity for equanimity. As Jack Kornfield says, “In the end, just three things matter: how well we have lived, how well we have loved, and how well we have learned to let go.” At your own rhythm, slowly open your eyes.